PV Gap

Kim Said:

Is it a hook intro, or just long and boring?

We Answered:

i didn't read past the first paragraph—and most readers won't either.

open on ACTION, and give the reader a reason to ask a QUESTION. as it stands, your opening paragraph is just description.

good luck :)

Keith Said:

im going backpacking across a the states form east to west. any important things i should know?

We Answered:

I know you want to be roughing it, but I'd strongly recommend a prepaid cellphone. Just put a small amount of credit on it, and only use it when you're in an emergency situation - it may save your life. Maps of the route you intend to follow would be a smart idea - hiking/topography maps are best, but even a road map is better than no map. Remember to eat something every 10-20 miles (this will be about every 3-6 hours), even if it's just half of a candy bar. How will you be getting access to drinking water? If you plan on using untreated water sources, you'll want to have camp stove equipment to boil the water, iodine tablets, or one of those UV pens. Keeping your energy up will be crucial. I would try to get through the Rockies before the end of September unless you're an experienced hiker with plenty of cold weather gear. Good luck!

Sylvia Said:

wind-up battery charger?

We Answered:

Hi, I have lived "off-the-grid" (in the mountains without electricity) for many years. I know about the wind up chargers and solar and such, they do work, but it is a major hassle, will cost you money to buy it, & you will have to carry it around with you. If it goes bad, you are out of luck. The best advice I can offer you is to go to "The Dollar Tree" or Dollar store or equivalent in your area. Buy the 4 packs of "Sunbeam" Alkaline batteries. They only cost a dollar per pack. I use a Vivitar 7340. It takes 2 of these to operate & I can take a lot of pictures. I have to, I sell things on eBay. Just to make sure that this will work for you, get a pack & try it out. Most folks are under the mistaken idea that they need to buy those over priced AAs that are designed for use in cameras. I have found that the regular alkaline batteries do just fine in the newer model digital cameras. Try it before your trip to be sure. Then depending on how long you'll be gone, just buy maybe 5 or 6, 4 packs at the dollar store. It will only cost you 5 or 6 bucks. They don't weigh that much, they don't take up too much room & you won't have to sit there winding & winding & winding or waiting for the sun to come out, if you choose a solar charger. Plus will save you a lot of your hard earned money! Best of luck to you & Bon Voyage!

Tina Said:

Can I Create a story like DB/DBZ/GT?

We Answered:

Yes, it couldn't be less of a rip off, and even if you made this a show in like 10 years, you should at least think of a better name. Dragon ball series was very clever (the naming) because it's based on the dragon balls. Are your balls called planet former balls, I didn't think so. but to be simple, it's a complete rip off.

Clyde Said:

beginning of (rough passage...critiques)...?

We Answered:

"...shoving it into my pocket" would perhaps sound better.

"so I grabbed my backpack, lugged it over my shoulder, and made my way to the back storage room I had found only hours before."

The writing is good but I'm not too sure about the ending. It's as if it is there just to fill it out more.